


Teachers

by storyofeden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Discussion of Torture, based on a prompt, discussion of abuse, sshg if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28716171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyofeden/pseuds/storyofeden
Summary: Fear, Poverty, and a Broken Heart were the best Teachers.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	Teachers

**Author's Note:**

> A big Thank You to Q_drew for beta-ing! I really appreciate the help.
> 
> Based on a prompt from the Hearts & Cauldrons Discord Server.

He knew fear. He knew it as surely as he knew himself.

As a little boy, Severus hid in a dark corner with his hands over his ears to avoid his father’s fists. As a man, he slammed his Occlumency shields into place before the Dark Lord could utter the curse. _Crucio_. Either way, he was able to hide from the danger.

Fight or flight, they call it. And Severus nearly always chose flight.

In his youth, adrenaline coursed through his veins whenever Potter or Black would come into view. His heart raced, and his hands shook. He sweated until his hair looked greasy. His face would pale with the decision: run or draw wands.

A werewolf ready to attack at fifteen years old had him taking Calming Draughts for two weeks afterwards. But at thirty-three, he jumped in front of three innocent children to protect them. An insufferable know-it-all assisting her hair-brained friends in disarming him had surprised him as much as it scared him. She grew into an intelligent student with scars from a dark curse. He worked tirelessly to save her.

That same woman writhed on the floor of a dark Drawing Room, fearful for her life yet not giving in or giving up.

His colleagues duelling him in a hallway. Adrenaline spiking, heart pounding, fearful they might never know his true identity. That they may never know how much their friendship meant all those years.

He had experienced fear, and he had seen fear on another’s face. Perhaps that is why, by the time he came before the Dark Lord in that blasted old shack, he wasn’t afraid any longer.

Fear was the best teacher.

\--

He knew poverty. He knew it as surely as he knew himself.

The old and torn clothing he wore as a child had spoken of it. His hand-me-down robes had been enough to warrant mockery from muggles and wizards alike. Working over the summer at a sketchy corner store in Cokeworth was the only way Severus could afford his school things.

The Weasleys could relate, perhaps. Though they were rich in other ways, weren’t they?

He had nought.

No freedom, as it was taken away at seventeen to one master. He didn’t know the loss until he begged for a single favour and was denied. Freedom was lost again at nineteen to another master.

No friendship, as he lost his only friend with a regrettable comment in the heat of the moment. One person, enough to sustain him through the years, stood by his side no longer.

No one to understand him, save perhaps for a bushy-haired student. No one to _see_ him, save, perhaps, for an intelligent brunette.

No one and nothing.

Severus had experienced poverty. He knew the state of not having enough to meet a person’s basic needs. Perhaps that is why, by the time he came before the Dark Lord in that blasted old shack, he had no expectations.

Poverty was the best teacher.

\--

He knew heartbreak. He knew it as surely as he knew himself.

His mother cried every time the owl brought back a letter from his grandmother. It was always unopened. Her face fell, then hardened with resolve when his father came home with someone else’s lipstick on his collar.

He felt his heart break when he saw his best friend, his only friend, smile happily at his enemies, when he begged for her forgiveness, and when he lost her anyway.

Many may argue that Severus had no heart at all.

Yet he felt the pain of it when Potter called him a coward, his mother’s eyes tearing into him. He felt the pain of it when Minerva refused to look at him, and Pomona didn’t help him gather ingredients and Hagrid didn’t make him rock cakes at Christmas.

Heartbreak, like seeing your friends turn their backs on you and not being able to confide in them. Heartbreak, like seeing a brilliant young student tortured. Heartbreak, like knowing it would always be your own fault.

Severus had experienced heartbreak. He had seen it play out on the faces of others and felt it in their minds as a master Legilimens. Perhaps that is why, by the time he came before the Dark Lord in that blasted old shack, he had nothing left to break.

A broken heart was the best teacher.

\--

Severus Snape knew about love. He knew it as surely as he knew himself.

It was in the way his mother stepped between him and his father, taking the blows when she could. It was how she gave him every extra cent she managed and learned how to sew clothing so that maybe his clothes wouldn’t look quite so awful.

_“Please, Professor…Please stay with me. I can help, but you’ve got to stay conscious.”_

He knew about love like he knew how Minerva took her tea. She liked just a splash of cream in the morning, and she took it black in the evening. Pomona went to bed early, but she stayed up to pick moonflowers with him anyway. Hagrid gave him bottles of his favourite whiskey for his birthday every year.

_“I have Dittany and Murtlap Essence and a bezoar. And I think there’s an antidote to common poisons and an antivenin in this bag somewhere…”_

Lily as she shielded her son from death. A Weasley boy sacrificing himself on a chessboard so his friends could move on. An airy girl following her friends into battle, though she’d only known them a few months.

_“Professor?...No, please. I’m trying. Harry’s run off to get himself killed and Ron’s gone to be with his family and...and I’m here with you. So I need you to swallow this for me, alright?”_

Oh, yes. Severus had experienced love. 

_“I...I don’t know what else to do, Professor. I need you here to tell me what to do. I know I don’t know everything, but you do. Please let me help you…”_

He had watched the son of his best friend accomplish the impossible over and over again because of love.

_“I’ve watched too many people that I love die today. I won’t let you die, too.”_

Perhaps that is why, by the time he lay dying on the floor of that blasted shack, he held no hatred in his soul.

_“Open your eyes, Professor, please….Professor?!”_

Fear, Poverty, and a Broken Heart were the best Teachers.

But Love? Love was a Healer.


End file.
